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How-To Boyfriend: The Stonewaller

I won't say how many notches I have on my belt, but I can say that you wouldn't be able to count the scumbags on both hands. I've got experience with a**holes and it's time to spill the beans. If you also like skeezy men with patchy mustaches, this blog is for you.

#3 Never trust a guy who ignores you when things get tough.

This guy, you won't see coming. You'll think you found the love of your life only to find out he goes silent when you need him to say something. He won't do it in the beginning, he'll make an attempt to show you he listens and will always pick up the phone when you call. But, it won't last. He was set in his ways long before you came along.

When he starts to avoid you, the silence will burn your insides so much that it will feel like trapped ants under your skin. You'll tell yourself you can handle it, make excuses that he just needs space, but it isn't space that he needs -- it's the therapy he won't get.

This guy showed up when I was 15, then again at 25, then again at 30. It's like a virus of men that has been bred and have laid dorment. A girl with emotions comes along and they don’t know what to do with her but ignore her when things get tough. I kept trying to tell myself that I can make it work, maybe he will change and be a different guy someday, a guy who understands his feelings and can have the courage to say how he feels and then gets to the other side. But, it isn't this guy. Time and time again he let me down, played more video games or pretends like nothing happens the next day.

Beware, girls, of the man who can't communicate his feelings. The man that refuses to talk to you doesn't deserve the relationship in the first place. A true relationship is built on honest, vulnerable put-your-heart-on-the-line communication. Hearing what you need and what hurts you, that’s the man worth being with. You must be willing to break your heart for the chance to be seen and heard. That is worth fighting for, anything less isn't worth your time. Don't settle for silence. It’ll cost you too much.

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