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How-To Boyfriend: The Secret Lover

I won't say how many notches I have on my belt, but I can say that you wouldn't be able to count the scumbags on both hands. I've got experience with a**holes and it's time to spill the beans. If you also like skeezy men with patchy mustaches, this blog is for you.

#2 Never trust the guy who keeps you a secret

This guy is good at pretending. You'll believe him when you're alone with him, but you'll want to forget when you're at school. His friends will snicker about the pants your mom bought you with the weird star on the leg. He'll laugh with them in the locker room about how awkward you dress and how small your boobs are. You'll make excuses because he didn't used to act this way when you guys were younger, but now that others have an opinion about you, he won't dare tell them he's in love.

This guy is 16 years old more or less and he gleeked in my face after we made love during seventh period. He told me he would love me forever, but couldn't respect me if I didn't respect myself. He didn't know why I was the way I was, at that time I didn't know it either. I was different and the whole football team knew it. He knew it too and, like everyone else, he didn't know what to do with different. So they laughed at me and he laughed with them and we kept telling each other, I love you, in secret. I didn't try to stop it, the way we looked at each other when no one was watching was enough for me. I didn't expect much and when he got a girlfriend he was proud of, we stopped sleeping together, but I never stopped loving him.

Beware, girls, this kind of love breaks you down.

You will try to convince yourself that it doesn't matter while the shame silently strips you down to nothing. You won't feel it right away but you will start to do things you never think you'd do because you're a secret. It won't be easy to feel good enough again, especially when you've tried to convince yourself that he never made you feel bad in the first place.

You will be wrong and setting the record straight will be as easy as digging yourself out of a 6 foot hole in a country you've never been to before. He'll be charming and you'll think you're the luckiest girl in the world, but if he keeps you a lie you'll trade your soul to the devil and it will be hard to find your way home.

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